Tired

Steven woke up around midnight last night and could not fall back asleep without someone snuggling with him. We are trying to get him to sleep on his own and to stay asleep all night long. It is like having a newborn baby again. When he calls for you in the middle of the night and is crying and you want to go to him but know that for his benefit you shouldn't. He ended up being wide awake and I became frustrated with his kicking his bed and trying to wake his brother up. I think it was trying to punish us for not doing what he wants but who knows. I ended up whisper yelling at him (don't want to wake up brothers) and as he sat there sobbing I calmed down and tried to explain to him why we were doing this. At 12:45...in the morning...or night....whichever - it was dark and I was tired. Turned out that his weighted blanket was not on him and he sleeps better with that. I gave him big puppy, tucked him in with his blanket, weighed blanket, and a large lion pillow pet and he ended up falling back to sleep on his own. Hopefully tonight goes better.

Pictures

Autism

Since Steven was in Kindergarten I have heard from teachers that he has aspergers. We have been through the educational tests and he does not qualify for an education diagnoses. As a mother I want my son to get the help he needs, I want the best for him, and I want to understand him. From what I understand of this whole thing, if he is autistic then he will eventually get behind educationally. His peers will move forward, he will be stuck behind a brick wall, unable to move forward. His pediatrician has referred him to a developmental pediatrician in Casper, WY to help further tests on my bear. We had our first appointment this last week. After half an hour in to our appointment, she tells me that from his greeting and the level of anxiety she saw on him when she walked in to a room she would say that he has either aspergers or PDD-NOS(Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified). I knew this but to not have to convince someone was nice. I did not have to point anything out to her, or give her stories to prove my theory, she got it right upon meeting him. Granted she has 30+ years of experience, but she GOT him. As any mother who has gone through the tests for autism know, the paperwork and tests are endless and extensive. My hand hurts from filling in the circles and there have been many arguments between my husband and I over what we felt was the right answer. ADHD is taking a back seat to his Autism but he also has that. Can you imagine the conflicting emotions inside of me? Happiness that my son will finally get the help he needs, I will finally be able to get help I need to help him, or sadness that my son is on the spectrum. When he was born I wanted a life for him that was full of joy, friends, love, and endless possibilities. His life is full, but it is an internal life he leads. Externally he has love, joy in his own world, friends (when he wants someone to listen to his obsessions), and me. Forever and ever, he has me.

The last video of what Steven does when friends are over.

First days of school

Taking Steven to school is a blessing sometimes. He gets the structure that he craves and I get a mental and emotional break from parenting him. However when you work at the same school that he attends it can be hard. Like the time that special ed para came up to me to ask me to ask my son to button his pants. She would do it but she did not want to embarrass him. I told her to go ahead and ask him to. She wanted to know if he would do as she asked. I told her "no, but you can still ask him to". I am not going to jump in and be his mom at school as well. He needs to learn to follow directions from others as well. Or the other time that he is sucking on his shirt (to the point it is soaking wet all the way to his belly button) and some little girl freaks out on him because he slobbered on his shirt and came over to her. Or when no one wants to sit next to him at lunch, or he is spinning in circles on the playground instead of playing with friends.

For the most part it has not been a bad school year. His teacher gets him, there is not much more I can ask for from her. She lets him roam when he needs to and knows that he is listening and can repeat back what she has said, or answer the question she has asked. She lets him chew gum in class to help keep him from sucking on his shirt, chewing on his pencil, or to help him stay on task/focused.

We just lose him sometimes. His tantrums are getting worse and there are many a days that I have cried because I am at a loss as to what I need to do to help my son.

Introduction

Let me start with introducing myself. My name is Alexis and I am a mom to three boys. My oldest, Steven, is 8 years old and has been diagnosed with ADHD and SPD. That would be Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (he has combined type) and Sensory Processing Disorder (also known as SID). My middle son is Ross and he is 7 and my youngest is Kyle and he is 5. I would not be surprised if we found out that Kyle also has ADHD, he struggles with hyperactivity at home and is very impulsive.

This blog will mainly be a diary of my struggles and triumphs of having a son with ADHD. What I have learned and need to learn will all be put out there for you to read. This will also help me remember things that my over loaded brain will have trouble remembering. I would appreciate any and all advice, but please be nice. I am learning as I go.

Let me tell you about Steven and our journey. I fell in love with Steven the moment I saw him. He came 3 weeks early, tiny little thing of 6.8 lbs. Feeding him was difficult, breastfeeding ended when he was 2 weeks old and then it took another few months to realize that he needed soy formula. Steven hated his car seat. As soon as I set him in it he would scream. He did not stop screaming until he was out of his car seat. Made traveling difficult, I even have a video of him screaming in his car seat somewhere. About 3 years old we noticed that Steven seemed to be hard of hearing, we would say his name over and over again and he would not respond. He had a hard time with eye contact as well. He was an active child, always moving. Difficult sleeper, difficult eater - would gag on new foods introduced. Finding friends was difficult, people liked him but he never seemed to really play with his friends and his friends never really stuck. When Steven got to Kindergarten he was singled out by his teacher as having some fine motor issues and it was suggested to us that we should do some more testing on him for ADHD and Autism. At the end of Kindergarten it came about that he needed PT and OT, he had ADHD, SPD, but not Autism. First grade went extremely well for Steven. He got the help he needed and seemed to be growing. He graduated out of PT, but still needed OT. Second grade we were finally able to secure him a spot at the school we are supposed to be in. Looking back I should not have moved him, but we wanted him to be at school with his brother and I could not take three kids to three different places and get to work on time. We saw Steven regress, had a lot of issues with his teachers and had to go back for more testing for Aspergers. All of his tests came back that he has the markers for it, but he can hold a recipricol conversation, so he does not have aspergers. This contradicts the report back from summer camp where it was noted that he does not have good recipricol conversation skills unless prompted.

Steven today: He only likes foods that are in the same color group; grilled cheese, chicken nuggets, gold fish, french fries, granola bars, vanilla, pancakes, french toast sticks, ritz crackers..... He drinks water, chocolate milk, and vanilla pediasure. He does not like wearing clothes and will come home and take everything but his underwear off. It took us a long time to teach him that he needs to wear underwear. He likes to chew on things, when he has clothes on he will chew and suck on his shirt collar and sleeves. He does not like much touching, hugs, or kisses. It is rare to get a kiss from him and when he does kiss he does not pucker up but rather puts his lips to your cheek with no movement of the face. He rolls and flips, and sits on his "head" a lot. He struggles with personal space. Hates having his hair brushed, teeth brushed, and struggles with tying his shoes. He is an amazing reader, can read at a 6th grade level but struggles with math. He is underweight and I am sure malnourished since I can not get many foods in him.

I love this boy more than anything and I struggle with how to "parent" him on a daily basis. More than anything I want what is best for him, no matter what diagnoses is given.